t-minus 3 weeks until he visits
“I always get a kick out of the vet forms where it says ’species: canine.’”
“That’s not a species,” he says. “That’d be lupus, lupus familiaris.”
“No, but it really says ‘canine.’”
“But that’s a taxonomic fail. Sorry, natural history stickler!”
“Whenever I see Matt and Kim’s dog,” he continues, “I tell her in my ‘talking to dogs’ voice how the majesty of her wolf ancestry is completely squandered in her barky, beg-for-treats submission— how she’s not even the beta or the gamma wolf in the pack but a delta, and occasionally epsilon dog. ‘Who’s no longer an apex predator? Who’s a pathetic delta dog? That’s right! Sooooo pathetic.’ Such insults I will tell Pixel, as well, when i get to meet her.”
“Pixel Dog has no ancestry— a designer dog, that one is, manufactured by now-defunct Sugar Babies Maltese.”
“Indeed, we shall see.”