I caught up with the Internets tonight and discovered I’d missed two important memes, ones that put my dog’s record-breaking cuteness at stake.
White baby fur seal in Antarctica, March 2009.
Both — collectively, mind you — just be cuter than a Maltese.
Maybe. Cuteness officials can’t comment until Monday.
“I always get a kick out of the vet forms where it says ’species: canine.’”
“That’s not a species,” he says. “That’d be lupus, lupus familiaris.”
“No, but it really says ‘canine.’”
“But that’s a taxonomic fail. Sorry, natural history stickler!”
“Whenever I see Matt and Kim’s dog,” he continues, “I tell her in my ‘talking to dogs’ voice how the majesty of her wolf ancestry is completely squandered in her barky, beg-for-treats submission— how she’s not even the beta or the gamma wolf in the pack but a delta, and occasionally epsilon dog. ‘Who’s no longer an apex predator? Who’s a pathetic delta dog? That’s right! Sooooo pathetic.’ Such insults I will tell Pixel, as well, when i get to meet her.”
“Pixel Dog has no ancestry— a designer dog, that one is, manufactured by now-defunct Sugar Babies Maltese.”
“Indeed, we shall see.”
Tamara LaPlante is the patron saint of stray dogs, which run rampant here.
She currently has 19 dogs, I think, plus what seems like a hundred cats and kittens.
It’s become a tradition among volunteers to give Tamara a bag of dog food before leaving the reservation. Now that it’s so bitterly cold outside, I understand better why Tamara fosters so many dogs.
She offered to host Pixel at her house, too, which was really sweet. So my little Maltese —
— almost befriended this guy —
— until I realized Frontier Airlines doesn’t allow dogs on its planes.
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